Oh happy day!

It’s been emotional! Really emotional! That happy day is here at last – I reached by goal weight this morning. There’s not much of me left now, I weigh exactly 11 stone 7pounds. T…

Source: Oh happy day!


Oh happy day!

It’s been emotional! Really emotional!

That happy day is here at last – I reached by goal weight this morning. There’s not much of me left now, I weigh exactly 11 stone 7pounds. To be precise I have lost 23 3/4 pounds (that’s about ten or eleven kilos). And oh boy, do I feel weird! Happy, yes. Better, yes. But above all weird.

This is what is so peculiar – on the one hand I can’t really claim it’s been difficult. I just found out what to do and followed the procedure. But on the other hand I feel like I’ve been through world war three in my head. Ravished and exhausted. Why?

I suppose I have been in a war against my conditioning, an all-out effort to go completely against my habits of a lifetime, and develop new, healthier habits. My instinct to snack on comfort foods, for example, and almost two months with no proper cheese and no cashew nuts (I don’t count fat-free cheeses as real cheese because they are sooooo boring).

Life really is incredible. Only three months ago I was in the depth of despair. Now I’m on top of the world. And it’s been so quick!

Thank heavens for smoked salmon! I’ve been eating a lot of that and it’s one of the few foods I love that I’m allowed on this weight-loss regime. Indeed, without it I would have been downright miserable. I have become pretty dependent on it actually. That’s why I call this the Smoked Salmon Diet. I am actually following the Ducan Diet, developed in France by Dr. Ducan.

But I’m not under any illusion, for I am well aware that now comes the really serious challenge, maintaining my new weight. I do feel threatened and endangered actually, exactly like a recovering alcoholic. It will be so easy to fall off the wagon, especially when we go to France in a couple of months time, where a steak is always accompanied by chips, the croissants and patisserie are delicious and ice cream is on every restaurant menu. Imagine the reaction when I ask for steak and salad – with no chips! Aaarrggghhhh! Mon dieu! Only the British could be so uncivilised!

What to do? Have another café au lait I suppose (no sugar)! Food addiction is an invidious condition. You can turn your back on tobacco, you can turn your back on alcohol, you can even turn your back on drugs, but you cannot turn your back on food. You have to eat.

I guess it’s all down to what the gurus tell us – balance and the middle way. No more excesses. Keep mindful and always seek a balance. That’s the only answer.

I’ll report in from time to time how I’m getting on in my quest to find that balance – the balance that is perfect for me. You never know, my example might just help somebody in what the late Terry Wogan used to call “the never-ending fight against flab.”

Have a nice day and enjoy the challenges you find yourself up against right now…

Why Gurus tell jokes

Have you ever wondered why gurus tell jokes?

That’s the first thing I noticed about Osho. I thought matters of the spiritual path were serious, but after I discovered Osho I soon learned not to take myself too seriously. Here he explains why:

“I know you are absolutely in a drunken state. Everything is upside down in you, everything is in a mess. You don’t know what you are doing, why you are doing it. You don’t know why you are here in the first place! But I know perfectly well why I am here and what I am doing. I am trying to wake you up – you are fast asleep.

Just take one thing seriously and that is to become more and more alert of your sleepiness. And all my efforts here, sutras or jokes, are nothing but means to wake you. Sometimes a joke can wake you up more easily than a serious sutra because listening to a serious sutra you tend to fall deeper into sleep; it is so serious that you can’t be awakened by it. But a joke is so light that you don’t want to miss it; you listen attentively.”


Reminds me of a client who once told me, “I never get lost.”

“Howcome,” I enquired?

“Because I haven’t the faintest idea where I’m going,” he replied.

Touche! Can’t really argue with that – he seemed quite happy and contented. What more do you want?

How to get precisely what you want

Today I want to talk about an excellent coaching tool which I have used many times myself with astounding success. I use the word “astounding” judiciously because as you will see this device is ridiculously simple, but also its deceptively powerful, so why not give it a try?

It’s called making a list.

Let’s say you want a new relationship. You get a piece of paper and a pen and write a list of everything you want in the other person, even though you don’t yet know who they are. Make sure to mention every quality, every interest, every physical, mental and emotional characteristic you want in your prospective partner, in as much detail as possible.

This of course requires a degree of awareness and self-knowledge so don’t worry if you get one or two items on your list wrong, or if you forget something vital. You can edit or fine tune it at any time.

Something to bear in mind of vital importance – don’t be afraid to ask for exactly what you want, no matter how embarrassing or immodest or kinky or unlikely it might seem to be. This is not a time to worry about being politically correct, this is your opportunity to get your needs met, and that’s vital in any happy relationship! And of course, your list is completely private.

Try to write as spontaneously as you can, without even thinking about it, or your mind will jump in and start censoring. This ideally has to come from your heart.

Here’s an example:


. A woman between 25 and 35

. With dark hair

. Brown eyes

. About five foot six inches tall

. Wants to have children

. Wants someone to love

. Wants to be loved by me

. Able to accept me for who I am

. Interested in motor racing (or dancing or Tai Chi, or whatever)

. Wants to come on long country walks

. Loves Chinese food

. Wants to travel

Etc., etc….

I’m sure you get the gist.

Now what’s the point? Well for starters the first pre-requisite for a successful and happy relationship is a suitable partner. This exercise helps you to get clear about what a suitable partner for you is, so when you meet a possible candidate you will know at once.

Secondly, writing things down is a great way to imprint what you want clearly in your mind. You could call it self-brainwashing. This is important in ensuring your self-awareness is strong enough to help you avoid being sabotaged by your conditioning or self-limiting beliefs.

Thirdly, your mind will always make more for you of whatever is your dominant thought. There is a saying you should be careful what you ask for, because that is what you will get. That’s why you must be precise. Make sure you ask for whatever is right for you, for that is what you will get. Doing this exercise will help you develop the exact mindset you need to make this happen.

Of course you can use exactly the same technique for other things, for example getting the perfect job. I fact I used it myself only this morning because I need to find a reliable, conscientious and economical builder. My list was headed WHAT I WANT IN A BUILDER.

It may sound daft but I know from experience that it’s only a matter of time before I get what I want.

Fanning the flame of desire

Spectacular success, like when you are really on a roll, is exciting and addictive. This I have just discovered when I broke through the 12 stone barrier this morning. As of now I officially weigh a mere 11 stone 13 1/2 pounds!

You may think I jest or perhaps you think I’m bragging, but I am sharing this for a purpose. And in fact I’m going to go into some detail to make sure the point I am making is clearly explained in the hope that you can benefit too.

Actually this is a deadly serious matter for me, and joyful at the same time, not just because of what it means at face value, but because of what it signifies. Think about it. For years I’ve been worried about my weight and I’ve tinkered around with many diets but the most I ever lost was half a stone (7 pounds), which went straight back on in a matter of days as soon as my will-power waned.

But finally I got serious. I started on January third and now, after exactly one month, I have lost precisely 17 1/4 pounds. As I see it that’s phenomenally fast, especially as I’m a person who does most things rather slowly, and it means I only have 6 1/2 pounds to go till I reach my goal weight.

But the real significance of this is far more weighty because it means that I have learned how to achieve goals that I had regarded as impossible (for me), or extremely difficult at best. I am back in control of my life and my health and I’m starting to feel like my old self when I was a carefree, slender and agile youth. And it all seems quite easy now that I’ve got it going.

In fact I have another success to report – for the first time in my life I have started making significant money, and that’s a really happy situation indeed. But that’s another story for another day.

These two success have shown me that will-power has little to do with achievement. In fact, will-power alone is not enough to keep you motivated. It’s much more a matter of getting focused on what you really want deep in your heart and seriously deciding to go for it, then following the tried and tested procedure that others have pioneered, and keeping going without distraction. Somehow I have set myself free from worrying about the difficulties and learned to concentrate instead on fanning the flame of desire – and that’s powerful.

Now I’m going to share a secret with you. My second book, Outcast and Alone, is ready for publication and I have started submitting it to literary agents and publishers, with little success so far. But suddenly this morning I realise I have no more patience for rejection. If the people I have approached cannot see the value of what I am offering, then I will have to take matters into my own hands. I finally got serious about my intent, and my new-found confidence has enable be to create a new goal. This is it:

“I am going to get this book published very soon, even if I have to publish it myself, and I won’t rest until it becomes an international best-seller.”

Mark my words, I don’t yet know how I’m going to achieve this. All I know is that I will, by hook or by crook! Watch this space…

Perhaps we have to taste the sad feeling of failure first. Perhaps we have to experience being one of life’s victims to start with. Whatever it takes to get us galvanised, to wake up and smell the coffee. As I said in my last post, it all begins with a serious decision, a profound statement of intent. Then your new mindset will ensure that you do not fail, even though you may stumble, but that ultimately your success will happen inevitably and fairly easily.