Many of the people I meet are convinced that Life Coaching is only about achieving goals on a superficial level, but I beg to differ. While it is true that some coaches are obsessed with goals, better performance and achievement in the material or corporate world, I am more interested in what we as individuals are trying to achieve and, most importantly, how it makes us feel.
Does this goal that you are sweating to achieve come from your heart? Is it in accordance with your core values? Does it reflect your talent, calling or passion? Will it bring you that all-important happiness and fulfilment you yearn for? Will it help you grow – spiritually and emotionally as well as materially?
If not, has it occurred to you that you might be wasting your time? Or that you might actually end up hurting yourself if you do achieve your goal? This happened to me many years ago, which is why I realised you must be very careful what you ask for in every detail, for that is exactly what will be given. Think about it. Anybody can achieve goals, but much more tricky is identifying the right goals to achieve.
I use as a barometer the concept of meaning and purpose. When considering your goal ask yourself, “if I achieve this, will it feel like my life has meaning and purpose?” If the answer is yes or probably, then you know you’re on the right track. But if the answer is no or probably not, then drop that goal like a hot potato and move on to something that comes from your heart.
Sadly, many of us have completely lost touch with what’s going on inside. It is quite common for a new client to tell me, “I have no passion,” or “I have no talent,” or “I have no calling.” I once had a woman tell me, “I’m not good at anything,” and then she reeled off a list of all the things she’d done last week, mostly domestic chores, all of which were successful and earned her a lot of praise and appreciation from the people around her. She simply did not register these jobs as anything she was good at because they seemed “too easy.”
It was obvious she believed that domestic chores are of little value or merit, for she didn’t seem to notice the praise and appreciation. If she noticed them, she certainly didn’t let them in. Sadly, that can only be because she held herself to be of little value. This is, of course, complete nonsense, for your calling need not necessarily be anything lofty, complicated, cerebral or sophisticated. I realised we had a lot of work ahead of us…
Hey, who said that life has to be a struggle? I simply don’t believe it. And when someone tells me they don’t know what they want to do I don’t believe that either. A person might not be aware that they know what they want to do, or they might not believe they can do it, or it might be too scary to even contemplate or admit to, but you inner voice, the voice of your heart, always knows…
Helping you find the courage and develop the awareness to listen to it, and follow its guidance without hesitation, that’s my kind of coaching.